The beginning!

Well, here I am, nearly 8years after my first diet and I'm heavier than ever.
I'm a 24 year old intellengent woman. I have a great professional career. Earn a good wage, manage stressful job. I can hold down a relationship, look after 2 dogs but I CAN'T MANAGE MY WEIGHT.

Always have been overweight.
Eat too much. Like the wrong things.
When I was 16 I joined Slimming World, I lost 3 stone in under a year. I was a lovely little healthy size 10-12. I partied hard and enjoyed myself. Although I wasn't really "happy".

Since then I have gained a few pounds then lost them . Gained a stone then lost it. Always keeping to my neat little size 12. I took for granted being able to wear nice dresses above the knee.

Even at a size 12 I wanted to lose more. I'm obsessed with being slim. I'm obsessed with being "normal".
Looking back, I was perfect as a size 12. I looked amazing. But it came at a price. I followed a diet and never relaxed. I was guilt ridden when I ate a biscuit and god forbid I should have a take away.

I met my other half when I was a size 10-12. I looked amazing. We had an amazing first year and I felt sexy.

Then last year, I lost a very dear family member. I piled on the weight. I gained stretch marks on my belly, arms and legs. My boobs went up 3 sizes and I became obese, again.

My relationship is strong and I am content. I no longer feel he's judging me and the awkward nerves have gone. MY other half loves me and I dont have to "worry".
I dont feel sexy. I dont wear dresses. I never wear lingerie and I definately dont go out in anything less than a kaftan.

I am now a size 18. I'm only 5 foot 3.

I'm topping the scales at 15stone.

I watch every weight related program on telly and I am always looking for a quick fix.
I start a diet, lose a stone then get lazy.
I have stopped loving myself.
I cannot be healthy this weight.

I have a Wedding in August and a hen do in June. I want to wear a dress. I want to catch the boquet because I eventually would like to get married and I don't want to be a fat bride.

I have done Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Atkins, Dukan, Soup diet, smoothie diet, Slim Fast, Lighter life. All worked for a short time.

Here is my story: My weight loss journey. My attempt to love me again.