DAY ONE!

So , after my introduction, I have started my diet again....no, not diet, way of life! If I had a £ for every time I said that I'd be extremely rich!
Spent this morning at work, and thinking about food and how I am going to conquer it. Looked at all the magazines and all the inspirational stories. Ready to aid mine to it.
Went on LighterLife website. Due to my weight being disgustingly high, I fall into the Total diet, (for people with ALOT to lose)! So, the plan consists of 4 shakes /soups. No food. Calorie intake less than 1,000. You're mad right?? Well, not when I read a woman lost 5stone in 3months. That would bring me to target weight by the wedding!
Is it do-able or is it fiction. Are these testimonials of real fatties or just skinny people who have only been fat once. I have been fat most my life. Can I do it? Can i just drink soup and shakes?? If I could would I be this fat? Aren't I fat because I cant control myself?? Maybe this is what I need? The control taken away? Maybe I just need my mouth sowing up!
Either way, 5stone in 3months sounds worth it! It'll take me the best part of a year (or more) to lose that!
I could be a size 12 again by the summer!? Ooooh Its so tempting!

I have therefore had a shake for breakfast and one for lunch. I'm starving but the thought of an above the knee dress is enough to put me off food.  Will I cope with another shake when my other half is munching on a carb-rich diet of pasta and sauce?

I have set my screensaver as me in a tiny size 10 fancy dress outfit. When my boobs were little, my bingo wings non existent and my legs lean and slim. Every few minutes I look at the picture of the young girl I used to be. The one who cared what people thought, the girl who wanted attention rather than sitting in the corner. The one who teased and seduced boys rather than getting into wolly pjs and going to bed before even a peck on the cheek.

Will returning to that girl take me back there? Or am I just older, more mature and settled down. Whatever happens, my health is at risk and I dont want to risk heart attacks or strokes. And thats the important thing to remember instead of vanity. Im 24 and on my way to being a big fat heffa who is lifted by 20men to get out of bed .....(maybe not quite that bad) but who's to say if I dont stop now, I will ever stop!

Time to put the handbrake on and get in reverse. Get these excess stones off and get my life back. And I might become a sexy seren again?! Who knows!